Teri M. Bethel
Being a lady is much more than having a series of female body parts. Like beauty, it goes deeper than the surface of your skin. It’s a part of you that unapologetically embraces your value and invites others to do the same. The Collins Dictionary says that when you suggest a woman is a lady, you mean that she behaves in a polite, dignified, and graceful way. Being treated like a lady is not about making demands of every male you encounter to treat you like a princess. It is more about conducting yourself in a manner where you are celebrated and not tolerated; respectfully embraced and not effaced. In other words, being treated like a lady is something you command by enlightened behavior, not by demanding with aggression.
Do Women Still Want To Be Admired & Respected?
In an age where chivalry seems to be dying, many women still want to be treated like a lady. But do we conduct ourselves as ladies, or is it just something we feel we are entitled to as females? Women, in general, want to be admired, respected, cherished and cared for. Of course, some believe that chivalry died with the knights of the round table, but that’s not so. For a female to be a lady is a matter of choice; a decision. For someone to treat her as one is also a decision, generally based on how a woman carries herself and how a man is brought up.
The fact is, even tough women want to be treated with dignity. Their mouths may be hard and their countenance severe, but when consistently treated like the precious jewel that they are, you will undoubtedly see that icy surface melt. Some women say that they don’t need a man to open the door for them as though that is the full extent of being a lady.
So What Does Being A Lady Look Like?
Here are a few characteristics. A lady is a woman of substance, who:
- Treats herself with respect
- Avoids vulgar communication
- Sees herself as a person of value
- Is not promiscuous
- Knows her true identity
- Is tough-minded yet, tenderhearted
- Is polite and has poise
- Gives proper attention to her hygiene and grooming
- Dresses with dignity
- Surrounds herself with people who celebrate her
- Is particular about the environments she visits
- Builds people and communities
Of Great Value
Before anyone can treat you like a lady, you must first become a lady. If something is not valued, it is usually not given much attention; without attention, there is decay. You are valued and of great value. Start by seeing yourself through the eyes of the Creator. Ask him to show you how and begin to give yourself the attention you need to refine yourself.
While you may have an aha moment overnight, becoming a lady is a lifestyle that will require you to renew your thinking. Like tossing old thoughts and habits to replace them with acceptable behavior that will help to propel you in the right area. Queen Esther went through a time of purification before she could spend time with the King. It was a time of training that went beyond beauty treatments. It wasn’t a one-shot deal to impress the King. It was a regimen that was meant to equip her for a lifestyle of living as a regal lady.
Take Small Steps
You may not have the budget afforded Queen Esther, but you can begin your journey to becoming a lady with small steps. Start by being polite; being gracious is an attribute that society is in great need of. Do you walk like the incredible hulk with a scowl on your face? Consider walking with your legs closer together, using smaller steps and a pleasant smile. Walk with purpose, shoulders back and chin up; it shows confidence and strength.
Be gracious—even when you don’t feel like it. Loud, raucous conversations in public with a beer bottle in hand, and your northern extremities pouring from your blouse paints a negative image of you. Control what you say and how you say it—speak clearly so you could be understood. Real ladies use clean language to express themselves and not bar-room broth.
Changing Your Thinking Will Change Your Behavior
Read empowering books to improve your communication and behavior. A good etiquette book can teach you good manners, show you how to eat and which utensils to use when dining as well as why you shouldn’t talk with food in your mouth. By reading, you can learn what polite conversation looks like; how to sit and other considerations relating to a lady’s deportment.
Your not being groomed as a lady during childhood is no reason to remain in that state. Presenting yourself as a lady does more than impact how you regard yourself. However, in addition to feeling better about yourself, you are more inclined to receive the respect you deserve. Now, if the people in your circle don’t treat ladies with respect, then maybe it’s time to step out of your circle and into a better one.
Teri M. Bethel is a published author of books in several genres, including marriage preparation, marriage enrichment, children’s adventures & character building, romance, and more. Teri and her husband Tellis reside in the Bahamas. The couple has two adult children.